Thursday, January 29, 2009

Laptops: Don't Stop, Silly

By James Gilbert Pynn

The ever-irreverent Michael Jackson put it best when told me over dinner, Dont stop until you get enough. Good advice, Mike. Were all in such a hurry, trying to get enough, trying to get more and more and more. The typewriter too slow for you, Mr. Twinkle Toes? Use a PC. The PC too cumbersome? Use a laptop. The laptop too bulky? Use a smart phone, already! The drive to move and the need to communicate seem to be the two constants in this, our Modern Era, our Brave New World " our Eden.

For yesterday's traveling salesman, a leather briefcase was enough to force his way into your home. Today, were all plugged into the mainframe. We all need to access our email, our bookmarks, our Twitter accounts. For this, a desktop would indeed be just fine, if you worked out of an office. For you wonder kids, you whizzes of the New Dawn, this simply wont do. The slick salesman of today needs a laptop to pull up his PowerPoint presentation and flash demos of the new cyclone-powered robot vacuum.

The laptop bandwagon is now a baggage train. You can hop from one car to the next. Dont care for IBM? Rest easy, my son " you have Dell, Lenovo, Compaq, Toshiba, Hewlett-Packard and Apple ready to go. Dont like the silver cover? You are a finicky lout! Get the red one, or the black one or the yellow one for crying out loud. Now, you can even slap on some new laptop skins and presto: a racing flame laptop. Evel Knievel would be proud.

The bells and whistles most laptop computers feature are too numerous to bother with. Extended batteries, flash drives, wireless Internet connections, CD and DVD players and burners and levitation levers. Bill Gatess, Michael Dells, and Steve Jobss imagination knows no bounds. Hate squinting at a 12 monitor? Come, come, now man " get yourself a 17 monster and let the whole caf enjoy your vacation slideshow set to Twisted Sisters Were Not Gonna Take It.

Stay plugged in for as long as you can. The matrix never sleeps. Bring your laptop to dinner. Impress your date with all the tricks youve learned. Embrace this break-neck pace and let your laptop take you to the highest peaks of digital reality. Just make sure you dont stop until you get enough. - 16747

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